This week on “hold off, Is This a night out together?” we are joined by Autostraddle President and
L Keyword
expert
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. That’s right! This occurrence is about lesbian interconnectivity â connecting with buddies’ exes, pals connecting with our exes, in addition to society produced by all those things crisis.
Appear when it comes to gossip, remain for the mental control. And before that enjoy a-game that assessments Christina’s boundaries: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she typically wouldn’t normally.)
Thank-you for the great comments after all of our premier! When you yourself haven’t yet think about giving us a rating or examine!
PROGRAM NOTES
+ 5 years ago Riese come up with an
Old Hollywood information
that’s the intersection of all my interests.
+ Here’s
the article
We reference in which We mention starting up using my roommates.
+ My crush of this few days Mj Rodriguez introduced a songs video on her behalf tune
“one thing to state”
!
+ As somebody who has only seen some periods of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush for the few days C.C. Babcock had been surprising in my opinion if it ended up she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina tells me they basically still tend to be.)
Drew:
I’d be really fine with it existing. I would personally never add somebody else without their particular authorization. Nevertheless the idea of whenever some body ended up being like, “Confirm that you are connected to me personally,” I would wind up as, “Yeah, it is the life I’ve stayed. Really don’t mind.” Is the fact that odd? Is problematic?
Christina:
No, since if I becamen’t, i might feel bad not-being. I might wind up as, “hold off, I am not lying?”
Theme song performs
Drew:
Hi, I Am Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I Am Christina.
Drew:
And this is
Hold Off, Is It A Date?
Christina:
Hold Off, Is It A Date?
is an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big concerns. First and foremost, could it be a night out together? Preciselywhat are dates? That are dates? Will we like times? These represent the particular questions that individuals address with this right here extremely specialist and beautiful podcast.
Drew:
My name is Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
I am Christina Tucker. I am in addition an author at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer on the net. I will be recovering at describing myself as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. That is all of us. That’s who our company is.
Drew:
Yeah. And therefore our main subject recently could be the Chart.
Christina:
I simply believed it required a sting. I’m not sure. That felt truly dramatic, but I think it needed it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Many thanks, thank-you. No, no, no. The most effective amount of crisis.
Christina:
Thanks a lot.
Drew:
Yeah. Therefore we’re discussing lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I like that phrase given that it sounds like you should restart the lesbians. It sounds such as the internet access isn’t really operating.
Drew:
Yes. It’s very higher level, really advanced, but in addition has been around since there has been lesbians, i do believe.
Christina:
Yeah. I think scholars will say as soon as they found the most important lesbian fossils, they discovered a chart alongside ones created in to the sand. And I also genuinely believe that’s what that film is approximately, right? It is more about the information? That film with Kate Winslet as well as the mud fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that’s what it is more about.
Drew:
I wish
Ammonite
involved cave ladies. I’d watch that lesbian movie.
Christina:
Well, as I haven’t observed it, i’ll fearlessly claim that it had been. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Because it’s like we’ve got many lesbian duration parts, but we have never ever eliminated straight back that far. And I also believe it’s time we would.
Christina:
Let’s only keep using it more back in time.
Drew:
Before we have to your primary subject, you’re however observing you. And that I believed that it might be enjoyable to play a game title where you guys could truly familiarize yourself with Christina. So our icebreaker with this week is only a little online game that we name “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
I will be, again, so pressured about any of it. This could you need to be the way in which i-come to the video game. This could be my personal video game mindset, only a little high-key, some stressed. Which is fine. We are all discovering.
Drew:
I think which is fantastic. I do believe that may have you more vulnerable, perhaps.
Christina:
Certainly one of my favorite feelings.
Drew:
Merely a horror, merely an acute terror. So that the method in which “Would U-Haul” works is actually i will describe a scenario. Why don’t we call it Christina lover fiction. And I’m going to pause after every little area are like, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure you have never ever stayed with a partner, do not want to accept someone. But under these situations, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And that I will possibly say yes or I’ll say, “i am prepared.”
Drew:
If you do not â well, we are going to see right here. But i am thrilled. I think I’ve maybe cracked the signal.
Christina:
You’ve damaged the rule? I’m excited.
Drew:
Let us see how long this takes. Of course you never perform, In my opinion you win? I don’t know how there are winners here.
Christina:
I am not sure that we now have winners during the online game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Well, I am not sure in the event that you’ll go along with that after that. Therefore I’m going to get going.
Christina:
Reasonable enough.
Drew:
Okay. Thus, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You are at your friend’s wedding. Inspite of the plethora of romcoms you’ve consumed, you did perhaps not check-out this marriage thinking you’d meet anybody because, really, this is not a romcom. This is the genuine and normal lifetime of Christina Grace Tucker. You adopt your own designated chair consequently they are glancing at the telephone when you recognize a woman at the table is looking at you. She presents by herself as your pal’s former baby-sitter. She is stayed a friend in the family members, but she doesn’t actually know anybody there. She looks like mid-forties and it has a striking angular face. You set about talking. She proposes to allow you to get a glass or two. So when she stands up, you understand she’s six feet tall, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. So you understand what? I am only planning stop there and start to become like, at this point, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I am fascinated. I am fascinated because I might get set at the marriage. But thus far I am not U-Hauling everywhere.
Drew:
Cool. That’s entirely reasonable. Entirely reasonable. Okay. So you spend entire wedding ceremony getting to know each other. There is simply a sudden spark and immediate chemistry. And indeed, you do hook up while the gender is actually amazing.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And therefore this marriage was a student in Northern Ca. And that means you both increase your own remains for three days to shag and explore and consume at restaurants and shag. While offer to split the cost of the today mutual area, but she laughs you down and is like, “demonstrably maybe not, honey.” Therefore, the next three days tend to be miraculous. You feel your wall space tumbling straight down. You are falling faster than you actually have actually. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Thus just for clarity’s sake, I’m having a tough time imagining a world for which I got three surprise times away from try to go out with a person i actually do not understand. That looks bonkers. In case used to do, best for me. But I’m not U-Hauling during this period. It’s going to be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. Which is great. You only found. I have it. I get it. Okay.
Christina:
Thanks a great deal.
Drew:
So she returns to nyc and you go back to Philadelphia.
Christina:
That’s where I reside.
Drew:
And you’re texting constantly. That’s where your home is and it is where this woman life. And you’re texting constantly while see both several times monthly. She’s very hectic with her task, but she is quick purchase you a train admission so you can arrive see the lady and remain at her beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. Right after which 6 months go. And another night when you are off to dinner, she requires one move around in along with her. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And move to Ny? I don’t love ny. No, I am not moving in at half a year mark. I’m not doing that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Totally, totally, entirely. Wow. Okay. So that you hold internet dating long distance. She understands that you will need some time and she is prepared to expect you. Some more months pass. It really is now already been over per year. The property manager informs you that they are selling your home to a developer that’s installing condos, which means you can’t restore it. You will need to find a fresh location. The now gf informs you that no stress, but her offer still stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. At this time, i’d U-Haul for 2 factors.
Drew:
Yay! Fine. Please tell us.
Christina:
Mostly, in a world which my property owner offered my house to build up it, my property manager is currently my best friend, so that appears like one thing went wrong inside our relationship. And I also may want to just keep Philadelphia anyhow. Of course, if I have to go in with my girl over right here, that seems good. That is okay. Completely okay. But yeah, In my opinion i may require an external force like a mean property manager.
Drew:
That is so â okay. I did think that you would should require property attain indeed there, so I’m happy We realized that.
Christina:
Yeah. Which is just what needs to affect me personally very first.
Drew:
Well, i am glad to know what it’s going to take. Thus theoretically, if you weren’t kicked out, how much cash additional time?
Christina:
Frankly, which could have gone on for a long time. Philly and ny are not actually that not even close to each other. I managed to get room over here. We are bouncing to and fro. We are having good times. I possibly could have permit that roll for some time until i suppose Shoshana turns into the worst individual i understand.
Drew:
I didn’t realize that Shoshana possessed your own house. Well, there you decide to go.
Christina:
There we go. Wow, which was exciting.
Drew:
Well, thank you for playing.
Christina:
I’m stressed, becoming clear.
Drew:
And I’m pleased that I know⦠perhaps if you are ever before, so if anyone’s ever matchmaking both you and desires one to move around in, maybe the girlfriend informed Shoshana to sell your house in the interest of your own union.
Christina:
Truthfully the fastest method â somebody would simply have to speak with Shoshana and become similar, “Just kick the lady down.” Immediately after which she’d resemble, “Yeah, sure. Without a doubt.” That could be the way it took place, regardless if she don’t sell the house. Some one would just be like, “is it possible to just kick the girl out very she will only conquer it and move in with me?” And she would say yes. Double she would do that. That’s what relationship is.
Drew:
I really like that.
Christina:
Yeah, that is actually breathtaking.
Drew:
Well, i’m like we discovered loads in regards to you.
Christina:
Thanks. I feel like I discovered a whole lot about myself personally, also. Danger of homelessness is actually the thing that keeps myself transferring any scenario, i assume. Wow.
Drew:
Well, that is great.
Christina:
That was actually thrilling. I’m similarly thrilled to go into our main section because i do believe dealing with lesbian connection with this guest, with this unique visitor, i believe it’s going to be remarkable, Drew. How have you been experiencing?
Drew:
I am therefore thrilled. This can be a specialist. And by that, after all an
L Word
specialist, but a little bit of a professional within the topic in front of you.
Christina:
I believe two things are correct, my friend. In my opinion a couple of things can be genuine without a doubt. Will we wish introduce our guest or will we want all of our guest introducing themselves?
Drew:
I would personally love our very own guest introducing herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I am going to declare that our visitor is the only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, communicate.
Riese:
Hi, I’m Riese. Plus its unusual as the visitor!
Christina:
Yeah, its.
Riese:
I experienced never to say any such thing. I didn’t also do so. Used to do state circumstances. I’d to sit here silently.
Christina:
And also you happened to be really fearless. As well as your faces happened to be appreciated.
Riese:
Many thanks a great deal.
Christina:
Though that is obviously an audio method, i would like all of our listeners to understand that Riese was actually making some great effect faces during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
There is many ways to-be heard. Guess what happens after all? That’s what I always state. I am the President of Autostraddle.com. And I also’m in addition on an undefeated kickball staff. And that is myself. I’ve a puppy known as Carol. And I have outdated men and women.
Christina:
Congrats regarding the kickball!
Riese:
Thanks. I’ve been involved with men and women.
Christina:
Great. Enjoying that. That is fantastic to take for this, this here internet dating podcast. Which is excellent.
Riese:
Yeah. I do believe that⦠will there be whatever else?
Drew:
No, I think that’s fantastic, Riese.
Christina:
Anything you would you like to share.
Riese:
I really like raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.
Christina:
Compared toâ¦
Riese:
You Understand when someone goes likeâ¦
Drew:
Its like when you strike. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those tend to be gross, thus I just exhausted all of them from my head.
Riese:
Yeah. That is certainly all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Well, we immediately thought of you because of this topic.
Christina:
That is true.
Drew:
Because to start with, clearly, queer women and non-binary people in lesbian neighborhood happen like, I am not sure, sex with individuals exactly who people they know experienced gender with since a long time before
The L Keyword
had been actually a sequence. But i actually do feel just like
The L Word
solidified a specific cultural concept of the information with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I felt like might have plenty of insight into this topic.
Riese:
It is true. Two of the authors, i wish to state, of
The L Term
had this genuine chart ones in addition to their buddies they were drawing regarding wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i believe, was actually one. She chatted to us about it, they had created this. Because clearly, everyone else because blogger’s place had fucked people in the publisher â you understand, and lengthy internet of the generation of lesbians in L. A.. And in addition they watched that and they were like, “Why don’t we place it within the program.” Plus some of these are on the chart. Like, one particular who ⦠like, genuine individuals are on the chart as a tale.
Christina:
Which is amazing. Which is how you understand you’ve made it.
Riese:
Isn’t really that pretty?
Christina:
That would be exciting personally.
Riese:
And so if you haven’t viewed
The L Word,
first, congrats. Second, it will become the centerpiece of a single of one’s lead personality, Alice’s, apartment. She’s got it all over the woman wall structure. Plus it may be the name of a webpage they began called ourchart.com that flopped. While the concept ⦠and it’s really inside the pilot, i do believe. Within the 1st occurrence, Alice starts writing on how everyone’s connected, because every person’s connected with this specific individual. And I also can hook up you, as you’re probably at the most two levels from the me personally. And that was correct. Like, despite Dana, who had very restricted experience because she was a closeted tennis player, they nonetheless could actually connect her. And that’s actuality because it’s correct.
Christina:
That is culture. Yeah. That is what society appears like.
Riese:
That’s society. Which is queer culture immediately. And now everybody tends to make their very own maps.
Christina:
Yeah. So as that would be my personal subsequent question, ended up being have either of you made a chart? Because I do not imagine We have, and I am type of today thinking like, what was this last year sitting within my house for easily failed to make a chart? Like, that was the purpose of that, actually?
Riese:
In my opinion I completed it within my journal, in the same manner like ⦠Because I really like, I am not sure, planning information, i suppose, as an idea physical exercise.
Christina:
Yeah, i believe that’s in addition why i’m amazed that We haven’t completed it. I prefer the idea of categorizing circumstances.
Riese:
Appropriate. Yeah. Because it is fascinating. I’m not sure why it is therefore interesting, but it is. Its interesting getting love, wow, each one of these men and women, they may be connected. It is crazy.
Drew:
Throughout the program, as soon as ourchart.com is actually developed, they’ve got an actual chart that folks can add on material. And I feel something that you joked pertaining to on
To L and Straight Back,
nowadays folks say always is like, when this existed in a genuine means, no-one would put their unique brands about it, no body would feel comfortable placing their labels onto it.
Riese:
You would.
Drew:
I’d. I would be very good with-it current. I would never ever add somebody else without their own permission. Nevertheless the concept of want, each and every time someone had been like, “Confirm that you might be linked to myself,” I’d end up like, “Yeah, it is the life i have stayed. Really don’t care about.” Is odd? Is the fact that a challenge?
Christina:
No, since if I wasn’t, I would feel poor not being ⦠i’d end up like, “Wait, I am not about it? Like, I’m sorry, exactly what?” No, that will in fact deliver myself into lighting moral panic about which Im as someone, what I’m undertaking. Have always been we interesting? Perform folks {like
mulol
